Direct from the Pubs of Manchester to You- for Copetón and Sila

"Just at home betwixt graduation tassles and christmas ornaments as the open bush, the Gloucester Canary produces a beautiful song" -Bird Fancy

“So I found meself in the Irish hardware store the other day and I overheard a conversation at the counter. A customer wanted to know if the store sold yellow paint.

‘Of course,’ said the man behind the counter ‘in the paint section on aisle 3. Are you looking for a particular shade?’

‘yeah, it ougtha be canary yellow. I need it to paint me bird.’

‘Oh?….. And why on God’s green earth would you need to do that?’

‘Well, y’see, he’s a budgie really but he’s got the voice of angels. I want to enterim in a canary singing competition, win meself a pint. He’s gotta be a canary’

‘You’ll kill’m by painting him!

‘Nah, I won’t’

‘A tenner says you will’

‘You’re on’
and the costumer strode off.

Week or so later I’m back in the store and sure enough, here’s the same lunatic with the budgie walking in.

‘Hey!’ says the keeper “What happened to your budgie?”

‘Aw, he died’

‘I bloody well told you! Where’s my tenner?’

‘Naw, twasn’t the paint that killed em,’ said the man “was the sanding between coats that didm in’

-Courtesy of Don Chalmers, immediately following my 6th defeat at racquetball. Penalty for threatening my birds: keel hauling,  ( + the occaional loss at racquetball.)

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